ARTICLES

Read my free articles on personal growth and development for gay men.

  • GETTING REAL ABOUT CORPORATE HOMOPHOBIA

    Adapted from "A Gay Man's Guide to Life,"

    Companies are just collections of people, and people are imperfect. In some cases, our flaws are just the innocuous expressions of our human design. But in other cases, we have weaponized our shortcomings as a means to make ourselves feel powerful on the backs of others. And many workplaces offer little sanctuary...

  • COMING OUT IS YOUR GREATEST GIFT TO OUR COMMUNITY

    Why Coming Out Is Essential to Being Gay

    Coming out is an important milestone in any gay man’s life, so here's what it means to come out and be an active member of the gay community.

  • AUTHOR BRITT EAST: WHY WE CAN ONLY HEAL WHAT WE LOVE

    Britt sat down with us to discuss his new book.

    We can only heal what we love. And for those of us who have spent our lives roiling in the cauldron of inequality, self-loathing lingers long past the pain of prejudice. In the case of gay men, straight society breaks us and then mocks us for our brokenness, first as the objects of scorn and ridicule, and then shame and violence.

  • HOMOPHOBIA DEPRIVES GAY MEN OF OUR RITES OF PASSAGE

    Adapted from "A Gay Man's Guide to Life,"

    This article, by Renee Kemper, is adapted from my recently released book, "A Gay Man's Guide to Life." Understanding our missed milestones in childhood is crucial to empathizing with our emotional struggles in adulthood.

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL AND THEN GET TO WORK

    How to Build the Life of Your Dreams

    Real change requires sustained effort. Demands self-discovery, personal practice, and relatedness. Insists on hustle and teamwork. Takes energy and execution. A bias towards action. For all those who want to my story, this article is for you....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR BODY

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    I wasted so many years hating myself. Not realizing that those very parts of me I loathed were loved by others. Even coveted. And it all started with my body. No matter the size of your waistline. Whatever your height. Or your race. No matter your gender expression. Whatever your hair color or texture. Your body is worthy of love. Especially from you....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR MIND

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    If, like me, you have lived with mental illness, you know about the sack of rocks: that extra baggage we carry that burdens our backs with an unfair and unchosen weight....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR SPIRIT

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    In my spiritual journey I have sat with Quakers and Buddhists, have stood with Lutherans and Episcopalians. Yet I do not feel part of any particular movement, nor any group-oriented faith-based practice. In this way, I am connected to everybody. Which is another way of saying there is nowhere to hide. That everyone is my soulmate. And that we are all in this together....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR CAREER

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    If, like me, you have struggled to get traction in your career, take heart. Yes, corporate bigotry is real. Yes, the system is rigged. But that’s not the end of the story. You might not be able to control a hiring manager. But you can control your attitude, enthusiasm, energy, and preparation. There is no reason to succumb to self-limiting thoughts....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR FINANCES

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    I grew up believing in the lottery of life: some of us would just never make it rich without divine intervention. Which was another way of saying there was nothing I could do to lift myself out of my circumstances, unless I got lucky. I knew nothing about creating or maintaining a sustainable income, and was wholly unprepared for adulthood....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR FAMILY

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    When it comes to building families, GBTQ men have faced unique challenges for centuries. Whether dealing with family-of-origin issues, getting married, creating chosen families of our own, or directly raising children, we have more options than ever before available to us....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    Little in the lives of GBTQ men is more challenging than the forging and nurturing of sustainable friendships. In fact some of us have very few GBTQ friends at all, which can further negative self-images, internal shame, and loneliness....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    Our secrets are killing us. And the space where many of us hold the most shame is in our sex lives. It is the core of the homophobia we experienced, and where we often reserve our most intense expressions of self-loathing....

  • IT’S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR COMMUNITY

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    Let’s face it: the LGBTQIA+ community can seem like a strange and unlikely collection of disparate groups. An uneasy coalition of outcasts. United to fight for similar issues, if not for a single, common cause. Bound by our bodies. Standing for how we love. Struggling to protect whom we love....

  • IT'S TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR SERVICE WORK

    Moving from self-shame to self-love

    It’s incumbent upon us to shine. Not necessarily to take the room. But to permeate it with our radiant presence. To attract those that feel inspired. This is the essence of service work: less to impose our will on the world, than to embody our spiritual essence such that we might manifest our greatest good...

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