- britteast
Homo for the holidays
For some of us it happens every year around this time. We visit our families for the holidays, and they immediately start the old song and danceā¦
š©ā𦰠āWhen are you going to meet somebody?ā
š§āWhy are you still single?ā
š©āš¦³āWhen are you going to bring a nice guy home for us to meet?ā
šØāš¦³āI want grand-kids!ā
Itās actually really sweet because theyāre obviously trying.
They just want to love and support us. But it can still feel like so much pressure. And some of us feel like we have to deflect, and change the topic entirely. Others of us actually lie, and tell them weāre dating someone, when we havenāt been on a real date in months or even years. š
Canāt they see that of course we would love to meet someone special? That we long to start a family of our own? But maybe we just donāt have the slightest idea how to get startedā¦
I may not have a magic wand, but I know this much is true:
WE CAN SNAP OUT OF IT AND BREAK THIS SPELL
If we want change, then itās time to cut the crap, let go of our excuses, and get real. š„
ā Loving Honesty is the best policy: letās stop coddling our families. When confronted with the same old song and dance, letās ask them if they really want to have an open and honest conversation. Where we can share with them the cost of the closet and the harm of homophobia. Our truth of what we have endured, sometimes even at their hands. But temper this conversation with kindness. Create space for their experience. Get real, but avoid blame and shame. Itās time to set ourselves free!
ā Share about your life: letās share more of our lives with our loved ones. Stop playing it small for the sake of family unity. Step out of the shadows and into the light. When they ask how weāre doing, letās really tell them. When they ask what we did last weekend, letās share the PG-rated version. Including some details about our dating life. Stand tall. Take up space. And let's claim our rightful place in our families.
ā Vow to make a change: if we do what we always did, then weāll get what we always got. Draw a line in the sand. Do something different. Acknowledge and own the reasons, but drop the excuses. If weāve spent months or years trying to figure this out on our own, letās stop. And reach out for help. Hire a professional. Someone to help us reclaim our power and create a plan of action. And then share these intentions with our loved ones.
Look I know itās scary, but we canāt afford not to do this work. The entire world needs us to live our best lives. And sharing our true self with the world is our greatest gift. If we're ready to make a change, then let's make it!
