We all want the relationships of our dreams. But if I have learned one thing over the past twenty years of my personal growth and development journey, it’s that if we do what we always did, we will get what we always got. 🔥
In other words, what are we willing to do to find these guys and nurture these relationships? What behaviors have we been using to manage our stress and prop ourselves that also carry the unintended consequence of furthering our aloneness? And what are we willing to let go of? 😔
Here are some of the Band-Aids I used to cling to:
✅ Coffee: it’s not that coffee was keeping me from finding the man of my dreams. Coffee is just a symbol for all that money I spent on lattes and expensive packaged foods meant I had less money for the self-improvement activities I really needed to raise my energetic attraction. And it was my love vibe energy that was sabotaging my efforts. By shifting that money from these little luxury items to investments in my personal growth and development, meant I was prepare to be my best self no matter who was in the room with me.
✅ Checklists: it wasn’t until I set down my checklist of wants and needs for the perfect guy that I was able to create space for perfectly wonderful men to walk into my life. Men who looked a little different than I might have thought. Or had different jobs, hobbies, backgrounds, etc. When I set down my checklists, I learned how to rule guys in, rather than rule them out.
✅ Work: when I was dating, I was burying myself in overwork as a preemptive excuse to avoid actually putting myself out there. Sure I was on the dating sites, but I had no time and energy left at the end of the day to meet guys in the physical world, because I was so tired from going WAY above and beyond the call of duty at my job.
✅ Porn: using pornography was a way for me to stay in control, rather than risk the vulnerability associated with meeting new people. If my porn use was high, I was more sated. Less likely to risk leaving my comfort zone. This was also wasted money, time, and energy that could have been re-directed to investing in my personal growth and development, or dates with great guys.
What are your Band-Aids? What little crutches do you cling to that you think might be holding you back from the love and relationship of your dreams? What are you willing to risk shedding, so you can invest in yourself and create space for that love? 😍